you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
