My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
