I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
