You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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