dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
