Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
