I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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