I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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