I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
