i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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