so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
