I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
