Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize