I'm gonna have a badass scar
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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