Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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