dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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