Well douche your snatch and let's go!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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