There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
