whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
