Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
