VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
