But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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