Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
