If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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