The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
