You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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