Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
