I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
