A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
