I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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