dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
