her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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