Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
