3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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