yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
