I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
