1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Panties = found
Randomize
