Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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