bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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