Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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