why didn't you poke me back
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize