i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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