All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
