Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
