In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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