so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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