I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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