She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
