I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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