just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
