I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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