Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
