So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
