he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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