I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we made out on top of his cat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
