I just threw up on my dentist
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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