And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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