Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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