everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You may now shotgun with the bride
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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