i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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