At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
