I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
