i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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