I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
