Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize