You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
