ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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