Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
