I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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