this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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