I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
